YOU ARE INVITED!
Just Before I
turn 22
Just before I turn 22. Just before you get older that you think highly of
your priorities and where you want to go and what you want to do in your entire
life. The passion which you think keeps you alive. Just before I turn 22 that I
think highly of where I should focus and where I should start.
I have a bucket list: Just
as any young person would.
I want to go to a bar alone, chill out without the intention of meeting
someone. I always tell my friends I am not into dating at this time. That’s after
two consecutive heartbreaks. I see this bar in front of my room’s balcony and I
see the people spending their night with some bottles of beer and tacos and
enchiladas. And it would be sad to be sitting there alone smoking and drinking.
But I’ve learned how to manage being alone. There’s a difference between wanting
to just be alone and being lonely.
I want to start cooking certain recipes fo breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
And then level up to baking and making indulging pastry products. It’s because
of this Table For Two book by my all time favorite author, Nora Roberts.
I want to be going out of town someday with this in mind: “No one would
hell care what my purpose is and no one knows who I am.” And seems like I’ve
been doing that since I worked.
I want to finish my self-written top three songs and play them everytime I
jam. I have them already!
I want to learn how to drive a car like no other girl does.
I want to be as sexy as I can be even after eating a bunch of cookies or a
bowl of ice cream. Impossible.
I want to enroll in a spanish class because I just want to. Well I have y
own app in my phone (wink). LOL.
I want to get my writings published and get paid by doing it. Actually,
earning an audience is my goal at this time.
I want to put up a business with a person who really holds to a decision.
In a short time, I want to buy my own space and put up my own place.
One thing I can keep as a promise though, I won’t stop celebrating my life
my wonderful parents gave me. That’s the most vivid picture in my mind right
now. They've let me become independent. And now I’m making my own decisions.
Sometimes, being too artistic means wanting to know and try everything. As
a writer with passion, a singer with character, and a learner by heart, I
honestly do not know where I will be. I’ve finished a degree in communication
arts. To me, entering the media world sucks. I don’t know anyone and I just
have to click ever ‘apply’ button in a job finder website and no one responds
to it. I want to know which this leads me to.
The line I won’t ever forget from an employer from a broadcasting industry was, “you’re
just nineteen, how can you cope wih the reporters and field works here.”
Really, how can one get an experience if you don’t let them try?
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| Royale Club 2017 |
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| Royale Club 2018 |
And by the way, I began writing this in front of an infinite pool, mid
year. I was also here last year, with nothing in mind but being in love. Can I
ask some favor? Will you read this while imagining my voice saying it to you in
a poetic manner? Thanks! If you haven’t heard me speak, you can privately
message me on facebook @meaganmangoma.
I realized the
heat now is more tolerable than the last time I came here. The shower was even
hotter. But now, it's more tolerable. I even got to enjoy the heat. And accepted
the fact that we're in Laguna, place for numerous hot spring venues with a
nature view. And then I came to understand that growing older and growing up at
the same time means being able to tolerate what appeared to be very tough and
hard before. You learn to manage everything more at your own convenience. I’ve learned how to say no. I’ve learned how to
talk back without sounding stubborn.
After the team
building, as usual, I went back to work, I haven't had any gym sessions after that because
it was so rainy and I had to think more of getting to the office without
getting wet from the storm. But my body seriously yearns for pain, so on the
seventh day, I did a 40-minute house workout instead. LOL.
At 21, I had to
understand that not everything can be done at the same time. Considering the
time to be spent, the money that could be wasted and that could be managed. I
was thinking everytime I wake up, if what I am doing would really make up
something for my future.
When I was in
college, I used to dream a lot of what I am living to right now. I wished I was
in a band. And I am in a band right now. Though I am not really full time into
it. What I know is I want to get a little bit of everything I have been
dreaming of. I wanted to learn how to drive a car, and I already got my own car under my name and I don’t even
know how to drive yet! I wanted to buy anything I want
and that's exactly what I am doing since I started working. From food to
clothes to shoes. I pampered myself. I went to my hometown anytime I want and
went home to a boyfriend who just cheated on me. I started investing on the seventh month of my
work life. That’s getting a return at age thirty. An insurance. See, I am not a fan of fancy signature clothes and stuff, instead,
overtime, I learned that choosing items with best quality is what should matter
most. And buying one of those
branded things won’t hurt for quality’s sake. And I don’t have any intention of
showing off what I’ve got, in social media at least. I want to travel outside
the country, and after seven months of getting my passport, I have had a
scheduled flight to Thailand already for first month of 2019.
And to me, now,
quality is in everything, from every person I meet and I already met and knew
to clothes to shoes and bags to TIME. The most important thing, the quality of
time spent. Again, as they say, it's not the number of years that you've lived
that counts, it's how you lived in those existing years you've had. Living is
life. And having a life doesn't always mean you've been living. Really. I’d like to think I’m promiscuous. But
not the type that’s engaged in a lot of relationships but dreams and
adventures. I’d say I’m an adventurous more than promiscuous.
I dreamed of
having a book published, at least a compilation of my writings from blogspot.com, I realized I have to search for a
very good publisher and have an access to lots of contacts first. Fulfilling
our dream will actually cost us a lot. But being happy is everything we are
willing to pay for. Tell me, why are all those guys going to bar, travelling,
studying hard? It's for happiness. Tell me why do we invest in loving someone even if
we're not sure of them? Being happy, I guess, sometimes demands for sacrifice
and your time. A lot of time. And still leaves you with pain once you fail. And if failure is a choice, I will never
buy that. Instead, I’d like to think everyone who are at my age to turn
something bad into something good, a disadvantage to advantage, a misfortune to
fortune, a negative to positive, a hatred to love. Reverse the psychology.
And I am
thinking maybe that is just one ticket for us to experience a love that's sure
and secure. A life that’s
full of definition, challenge, and experience. A love
that's found its happiness, home, and meaning. A love that does not yearn for
other's love but only our love and time. So what are we really talking about
when we're talking about love? Happiness, maybe.
It's every
little thing that could come in between things you don't even know exist. The
intensity in the emotion you have toward that person, the sacrifice you would
give for that person, a dream you might give up for that person. But don't ever
give your personality up for that person. Because in the first place, you
should be accepted no matter who and what you are.
I also wished I
had a degree in Psychology, but we don't have to have one to identify and evaluate who we
should be and what we should be saying towards others, instead, I had a degree
in English Studies major in Communication Arts, as I believed communication is
always the key to transposing proper understanding between you and yourself,
you and other people, you and the social media world, you and your fantasies,
you and your dreams. You and your family. Communication will always be there.
And I have to be present in every area I will ever experience, the presence of
knowledge of knowing how to communicate with all the types of people there is
in this world and understanding what they are, what they were, and who they really are is all that it takes, I suppose.
But I have my ultimate dreams after all. To host a travel show or to sing in front of millions of people.
Question is, with everything that I'm doing, do they really help on making me
achieve these ultimate dreams?
I love singing and
writing and I want to be famous. Inside me this is what I am saying. Because
having a mind that's so hungry for creativity and artistry and beauty around
her is sometimes cluttered for there's a lot of things that it wants. Aside
from money, it wants every beautiful thing and the hardest part is everything
is beautiful because being artistic is being positive with everything that you
see, seeing the light in every dark place, seeing the smile in every sad face.
Seeing the energy in every tired soul. That’s why I want to see the world, because I know my difference with all
those other travellers. It is seeing everything that cannot be seen by the
naked eye but the open mind and soul. I’m blessed I have that gift. Not eveyone
has that.
I would say I am very lucky to see
the pink in blank. The positive in negative. The happiness in loneliness, the
music in silence and the purpose of an empty can. To see the treasure in
pleasure.
I have written something that goes like this in my 21st. And thinking how
it went, in a year, there were a lot of changes and realizations. Whether it be
about love, life, preferences, dreams, goals, achievements, focus and
intentions. And then I realized that with
everything I've said and everything that I'm doing leads me to wanting to
achieve this; to be genuinely happy and financially and emotionally free. That
is the dream of everybody isn't it? Whatever we are doing we are doing for the
sake of being happy and contented and being able to tell ourselves, "I am doing
what I love and what I want."
Drop by my instagram @chasingmeagan and facebook page @meagamangoma and
greet me a Happy Birthday on my 22nd this September 29, 2018. See you all
there! This serves as your invitation. Welcome to my world and be my guest!
P.S. You can freely comment what you think of this piece I made.
Love,
Meagan
