The Ilokana Way of Adulting

These are some of the things I learned over the past two years working and living in the city life alone.

These are things that I thought would be very important to take note if you’re living independently. Especially if you’re a woman.

Well, you don’t have to only take note, you have to understand and know that maybe sooner or later, you’ll have the same struggles and encounters as mine.

If you’re an independent woman and already working, whether you’re from the Ilocandia or not, these are things you might be able to correlate to.

You may laugh, you may smile, and you may raise your hand if you’re guilty finding yourself in the same situation. You’re free to tell me things you have in your minds as well so I could also learn my lessons!

So since I’ve got a lot in my list, I want to share them to you, right here in my blog, written like a market list. Enjoy, Mi cara mia!

1. You become sophisticated. AND.THAT.IS.INEVITABLE.

The moment you realize you’re on your own feet, you get more strict to yourself. More cynical. And better in decision-making.

2. You grow into a more mature individual than what you and others expect of you.

3. You become more bossy. If you have a boyfriend, this might be a problem but you can sure fix it if he is so into you that he will be willing to talk about almost everything.

4. You become more  curious and adventurous at the same time that you try to spend a lot of time wanderlusting. You have your own money and time, and there's nothing wrong with doing something that makes you happy from it.Your soul demands its own time as well.

5. You become an enthusiast of all fields of study and profession. From business, cooking, literature, engineering, architecture, aeronautics, to medicine. Because you will want a piece of everything so that as you grow old, you can tell a single thing or two about anything under the sun to your future child. And if you give yourself time to explore enough, you'll bring the good news home.

6. You get more judgments behind you. You won’t care anyway.

7. You become more cynical (as I mentioned earlier). Not only with love (if you’re single), but with all the people around you. DOUBTFUL.PRESSURED.PARANOID. Yes, adulthood strikes you now.

8. You become more open to saying what you think and feel; sharing what you have is sharing a piece of you. And you know the right people to share it to.

9. You worked eight full hours and you feel as if the whole world is on you.

10. You have to go to the massage center every month at least. Believe me. This is a need. Make-up and facial treatments should be secondary.

11. You feel like you’re bloated every single time you eat. You might be under pressure because you read all those articles that as you age, there’s a high possibility that your metabolism goes slower and SLOWER. Working the stress out helps a lot though.

12. Yes, you might love your job, the environment in your company, but being tired is a part of it as well. Remember, it’s better to feel tired after doing a lot than feeling tired still after doing nothing.

13. All the #adulting responsibilities are on you.

If you are independent as early as nineteen, you’re perceived as the breadwinner or ‘panganay’ (first child). Me, not really, but I support them of course when they need my hand.

14. You want to study more. Because you feel like your entire college life was just a part of your responsibility that you needed to complete and you took a course of study which you believed would take you to your dream job. But sometimes, it’s not always the case.

In my case, I loved what I took. But there are times that I want to do something to add up to my profile and could build my career opportunities better. More skills more chances of winning!

Personally, I chose to study Communication Arts because I loved talking and acting in front of the camera. But as I applied for the biggest broadcasting companies in the country and auditioned to numerous talent agencies, I realized, dream demands a lot of sacrifice, time, and money. It’s expensive, but it’s going to be worth it in the end.

15. Your choice of clothes have changed. You  might have laughed at what facebook throws at you when the “this was your photo four years ago” appears in your timeline.

16. And when you’re looking back at your dreams back in college, they seemed simple. And that they will happen simply. Or that you have to be lucky first to get there. Now, you even want to try doing something that’s out of your league. I tried drum lessons as I wanted to be in a band, it didn’t work. I wanted to learn a different language, mi amor, it’s expensive. And you’ll have agonies if it will result to good ending or not. I am thinking of being a pastry chef, but I don’t really cook. But I do well know, it takes action to take yourself to your imagination.

DREAMING IS PLANNING.

What I mean is, there will be a lot in your mind. They say millenials are ‘masiyadong atat’ (hurrying things too much). But it’s how you should work on your dreams. Once you find it, chase it. Keep chasing until you get them.

Don’t wait until such time that you feel like your choices were wrong. Go for the what is, not what ifs. No choice or decision is wrong. You’ll know what’s best for yourself. And trying should not be an option, it’ a must. You can go to your current job, but don’t stop pursuing your passion and your dreams. The spotlight is just around the corner. Go chase it!

17. Don’t be envious with those who already reached their goals or dreams at early age. Think like this instead, if you already reached your dreams early, what are you going to do with your life now in the next few years? Live the same exact life without any challenges or journeys? I bet you’ll be bored. I mean, it’s okay that you go through the rocks and mountains and slides.

Because it will be worth it the moment you are at the summit of your dreams already. You want to write? Then write poems, articles, start your novel, submit them to publishing firms. You want to act? Then audition whenever given the chance. You want to become an artist? Then don’t get tired or demotivated creating your craft. Build your portfolio silently and make the loudest noise once you have it all.

18. You’ll realize, all of the people strive for the same great things. Money AND fame. It can be money OR fame. The dream to work as if you’re not working and building an empire of your own with your pinky fingers. But it’s not that easy. Again, dreams are never cheap. Should never be cheap.

19. There will be times while working that you wish you were just a child of the queen and king. That you were born with a silverspoon. For me, I wish I had celebrity or royal parents. But those are wishful thinking and mindless dreaming part of us. It’s natural. And at the end of the day, being satisfied of what and who we have is the most important thing.

20. There are times you are thankful for your life, and there are times that you curse. I wish you’ll be more of the thankful type. LOL.

21. We tend to talk about a lot of mundane mutations. But does not apply to our own lives sometimes.

22. You may feel inspired the other day then depressed the next day. Yea, I get it. Get your earphones and listen to music or grab your laptop and enjoy a movie yourself. Make yourself busy and motivated!

23. It won’t hurt to keep a journal. It helps us feel alive and more worth it.

I keep track of things I do during weekends and weekdays. As I read them back, I realized that my life is simply fantastic and pretty busy!

24. Never look down at yourself. Not even at other people.

25. Choose who you are with. Quantity vs. Quality.

26. You always tell yourself to go out and have fun. And end up lying in bed because suddenly you don’t feel like it.

27. You'll try to maximize and give a second look to the benefits you're getting from you employer. Is your work being compensated enough? Is it being recognized? Are you happy doing your job? These are some of the questions that normally come into our minds.

If you're a woman, you always TRY TO CONNECT THE DOTS IN EVERYTHING YOU DO.

28. You will also try to think about your savings. If you're really saving enough and what is it thay you're really saving for?

Actually, this is about you trying to outline your future. Every. Single.Freaking.Time.

When to settle down. Who and what type of guy to settle down with. When to have kids. When to put up a house. When to invest.

Thisnis the time for olanning and realuzing your dreams, girls.

29. You will try to do all the things you think you haven't. I hope those activities will help you know yourself more though and make you grow more.

Me, I just travel, socialize, not forgetting to make myself happy as I choose to be one.

We could be broken by our choices, so why not make smart choices and keep them safe?

But the thing is, you get to enjoy yourself, ONLY when you’re satisfied. It’s happiness when you get to like what you do. It’s freedom when you love what you have and do. And that’s all that’s there is. If you think you have to experience a lot first before you pass out, make sure that you’re experiencing life and stay human and humane, the luxury should come second. Live your kindness and being real a legend.

Thank you, for dropping by! Don't forget to keep chasing dreams!

Check my INSTAGRAM @chasingmeagan for an adventurous trip with me!

UNDERSTANDING GIRLS

For the Shopaholic Girl

To all the girls who shop a lot,

Hey there girls! I know well that a lot of us are struggling to make ends meet, not with our lives, but with shopping everything that we want in one go!  From top to toe. When we’re that type of girl who didn’t grow up being bought with branded clothes from Milan, Italy, or the states by our parents (other way of saying if you were not born with a silver spoon in her mouth), then there’s a big chance you’re that girl who’s always on the budget for a shopping spree.

This is my open letter to you.

There are those students and there are those who are employed and living on their own. Let me give you the pros and cons of these two kinds of shopaholics.

THE STUDENT

PROS

1.       You have all the time to just daydream about what you want to buy and what you’ll buy next.

2.       You can shop for free with your mom’s credit card or by asking your parents to buy you this and this.

3.       It feels so rewarding to buy something you’ve been eyeing online or to buy that sexy top you hid at your favorite shop. And because you’re only doing it once or twice a month, it is fulfilling.

CONS

1.       You’ve got a lot of time but you get it wasted just hovering the mouse over some cute dress or fierce Nike shoes online. It is on sale but still is expensive for you.

2.       You can ask for a shopping spree allowance from your mom or dad (if he understands how a girl badly needs a girl time), but it has to come with an award or achievement in school.

3.       It has to be only one or two items every month. You can either buy that shoes OR that dress. Not the shoes AND the dress.

4.       You have to have a very good convincing power, otherwise you’ll have nothing.

5.       You have to be a very good daughter. And when I say a good one, a really good one.

6.       You are always agonizing if that sexy top is still on the rack where you saw it the last time you visited or if it was already taken by someone else. Really, this is a hard part. Girls, agree?

**sometimes we even try to hide the item we love most.

7.       You can only wait for the cheapest bazaar there is to open. Like during town fiestas or special mall events. LOL.

8.       School needs are priority. Just because we cannot afford to sacrifice them for a pair of cool shoes. Not this time.

       THE EMPLOYEE

PROS

1.       You can shop anytime you want even if it’s on a workday. I don’t believe in others saying they don’t have time. Tip is you just have to be very determined to get that item to your own closet or you’ll end up not having anything at all.

2.       We have our own money, yooohooo!

3.       We do not need to be a good daughter.

4.       We do not need to please our parents. They should trust us with our girl instincts. And I am so lucky I a one with the most supportive parents!

5.       We can always eat after shopping. Of course you’ll have that extra budget on a good food.

CONS

1.       We have the money, and we think we have more than enough to use for shopping. But then again, we always end up letting ends meet with our bills, better not think about money that way. It’s always best to set your budget when you’re going out. And set aside a little extra. Nothing more, nothing less. That should stay as a rule to us, working girls!

2.       Everytime we get our paycheck, we think that we need a reward. It’s not bad at all, what’s not good is when we think of rewarding of ourselves more of what we just need.

3.       What we need and want should be well identified. A shopping list is a great help.

          MEAGAN’S TIPS:

            *Shop when it’s near payday, usually, malls go on sale from 30%-70%.

            *Shop on weekdays. There are fewer people at the mall.

            *Always look for the cheap ones with quality.

*It’s a risk to shop online, but you can try one like Lazada or Zalora and look if their items pass your taste. ALWAYS do it on a COD, never by credit card or debit. You don’t want to end messing up your bills.

*Follow online shops or fashion enthusiasts like VS models on Instagram. I don’t shop online though, I just use them as basis for some new fashion styles and then I look for same style at bazaars.

*Look for shops that sell overruns, they’re a great help to your budget. Always half the original price or even more, you just have to look close at the seams and stains.

*Learn to haggle when you’re in a night market or bazaar. They’ll give in with your charm. Bargain with them too! Getting a Php50.00 discount on two items you bought at the same shop is not bad.

*Since I am in Makati Central Business District, I am always at Glorietta or Greenbelt and every month, they have activities that include bazaars and food stalls selling pasalubongs and other temptations. If you’re an art enthusiast, Greenbelt has more of that.

*There’s this shop that I always visit in Glorietta 3, second floor, THE POP CULTURE. They sell various items with various brands, froom bags, bikinis, shoes, sandals, perfume, formal dresses, beach outfit to girly accessories.

*For those who are residing in North Manila, SM North Edsa, Trinoma and SM Megamall are on sale most of the time.

I hope I was able to help you with my tips! And for the pros and cons for students and employees, those are so far the things I was able to notice and I am sharing them with you. If you want to add something, go ahead and put them as comments. I’ll make sure I’ll take note of them.

I believe the fastest way to a woman’s heart is not only being chivalrous and treating her with a real nice food. It’s also having that patience when she sees every shopping store as a maze game. A LOT OF TURNS AND STOPS. You can just sit and wait there for her, I know you already bought what you want two hours ago (wink).

                                                                       

                                                                                                                        Love,

                                                                                                                        Meagan

Just Before I turn 22

YOU ARE INVITED!

Just Before I turn 22

Just before I turn 22. Just before you get older that you think highly of your priorities and where you want to go and what you want to do in your entire life. The passion which you think keeps you alive. Just before I turn 22 that I think highly of where I should focus and where I should start.

I have a bucket list: Just as any young person would.

I want to go to a bar alone, chill out without the intention of meeting someone. I always tell my friends I am not into dating at this time. That’s after two consecutive heartbreaks. I see this bar in front of my room’s balcony and I see the people spending their night with some bottles of beer and tacos and enchiladas. And it would be sad to be sitting there alone smoking and drinking. But I’ve learned how to manage being alone. There’s a difference between wanting to just be alone and being lonely.

I want to start cooking certain recipes fo breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And then level up to baking and making indulging pastry products. It’s because of this Table For Two book by my all time favorite author, Nora Roberts.

I want to be going out of town someday with this in mind: “No one would hell care what my purpose is and no one knows who I am.” And seems like I’ve been doing that since I worked.

I want to finish my self-written top three songs and play them everytime I jam. I have them already!

I want to learn how to drive a car like no other girl does.

I want to be as sexy as I can be even after eating a bunch of cookies or a bowl of ice cream. Impossible.

I want to enroll in a spanish class because I just want to. Well I have y own app in my phone (wink). LOL.

I want to get my writings published and get paid by doing it. Actually, earning an audience is my goal at this time.

I want to put up a business with a person who really holds to a decision.

In a short time, I want to buy my own space and put up my own place.

One thing I can keep as a promise though, I won’t stop celebrating my life my wonderful parents gave me. That’s the most vivid picture in my mind right now. They've let me become independent. And now I’m making my own decisions.

Sometimes, being too artistic means wanting to know and try everything. As a writer with passion, a singer with character, and a learner by heart, I honestly do not know where I will be. I’ve finished a degree in communication arts. To me, entering the media world sucks. I don’t know anyone and I just have to click ever ‘apply’ button in a job finder website and no one responds to it. I want to know which this leads me to.

The line I won’t ever forget from an employer  from a broadcasting industry was, “you’re just nineteen, how can you cope wih the reporters and field works here.” Really, how can one get an experience if you don’t let them try?

Royale Club 2017

Royale Club 2018

And by the way, I began writing this in front of an infinite pool, mid year. I was also here last year, with nothing in mind but being in love. Can I ask some favor? Will you read this while imagining my voice saying it to you in a poetic manner? Thanks! If you haven’t heard me speak, you can privately message me on facebook @meaganmangoma.

I realized the heat now is more tolerable than the last time I came here. The shower was even hotter. But now, it's more tolerable. I even got to enjoy the heat. And accepted the fact that we're in Laguna, place for numerous hot spring venues with a nature view. And then I came to understand that growing older and growing up at the same time means being able to tolerate what appeared to be very tough and hard before. You learn to manage everything more at your own convenience. I’ve learned how to say no. I’ve learned how to talk back without sounding stubborn.

After the team building, as usual, I went back to work, I haven't had any gym sessions after that because it was so rainy and I had to think more of getting to the office without getting wet from the storm. But my body seriously yearns for pain, so on the seventh day, I did a 40-minute house workout instead. LOL.

At 21, I had to understand that not everything can be done at the same time. Considering the time to be spent, the money that could be wasted and that could be managed. I was thinking everytime I wake up, if what I am doing would really make up something for my future.

When I was in college, I used to dream a lot of what I am living to right now. I wished I was in a band. And I am in a band right now. Though I am not really full time into it. What I know is I want to get a little bit of everything I have been dreaming of. I wanted to learn how to drive a car, and I already got my own car under my name and I don’t even know how to drive yet! I wanted to buy anything I want and that's exactly what I am doing since I started working. From food to clothes to shoes. I pampered myself. I went to my hometown anytime I want and went home to a boyfriend who just cheated on me. I started investing on the seventh month of my work life. That’s getting a return at age thirty. An insurance. See, I am not a fan of fancy signature clothes and stuff, instead, overtime, I learned that choosing items with best quality is what should matter most. And buying one of those branded things won’t hurt for quality’s sake. And I don’t have any intention of showing off what I’ve got, in social media at least. I want to travel outside the country, and after seven months of getting my passport, I have had a scheduled flight to Thailand already for first month of 2019.

And to me, now, quality is in everything, from every person I meet and I already met and knew to clothes to shoes and bags to TIME. The most important thing, the quality of time spent. Again, as they say, it's not the number of years that you've lived that counts, it's how you lived in those existing years you've had. Living is life. And having a life doesn't always mean you've been living. Really. I’d like to think I’m promiscuous. But not the type that’s engaged in a lot of relationships but dreams and adventures. I’d say I’m an adventurous more than promiscuous.

I dreamed of having a book published, at least a compilation of my writings from blogspot.com, I realized I have to search for a very good publisher and have an access to lots of contacts first. Fulfilling our dream will actually cost us a lot. But being happy is everything we are willing to pay for. Tell me, why are all those guys going to bar, travelling, studying hard? It's for happiness. Tell me why do we invest in loving someone even if we're not sure of them? Being happy, I guess, sometimes demands for sacrifice and your time. A lot of time. And still leaves you with pain once you fail. And if failure is a choice, I will never buy that. Instead, I’d like to think everyone who are at my age to turn something bad into something good, a disadvantage to advantage, a misfortune to fortune, a negative to positive, a hatred to love. Reverse the psychology.

And I am thinking maybe that is just one ticket for us to experience a love that's sure and secure. A life that’s full of definition, challenge, and experience. A love that's found its happiness, home, and meaning. A love that does not yearn for other's love but only our love and time. So what are we really talking about when we're talking about love? Happiness, maybe.

It's every little thing that could come in between things you don't even know exist. The intensity in the emotion you have toward that person, the sacrifice you would give for that person, a dream you might give up for that person. But don't ever give your personality up for that person. Because in the first place, you should be accepted no matter who and what you are.

I also wished I had a degree in Psychology, but we don't have to have one to identify and evaluate who we should be and what we should be saying towards others, instead, I had a degree in English Studies major in Communication Arts, as I believed communication is always the key to transposing proper understanding between you and yourself, you and other people, you and the social media world, you and your fantasies, you and your dreams. You and your family. Communication will always be there. And I have to be present in every area I will ever experience, the presence of knowledge of knowing how to communicate with all the types of people there is in this world and understanding what they are, what they were, and who they really are is all that it takes, I suppose.

But I have my ultimate dreams after all. To host a travel show or to sing in front of millions of people. Question is, with everything that I'm doing, do they really help on making me achieve these ultimate dreams? 

I love singing and writing and I want to be famous. Inside me this is what I am saying. Because having a mind that's so hungry for creativity and artistry and beauty around her is sometimes cluttered for there's a lot of things that it wants. Aside from money, it wants every beautiful thing and the hardest part is everything is beautiful because being artistic is being positive with everything that you see, seeing the light in every dark place, seeing the smile in every sad face. Seeing the energy in every tired soul. That’s why I want to see the world, because I know my difference with all those other travellers. It is seeing everything that cannot be seen by the naked eye but the open mind and soul. I’m blessed I have that gift. Not eveyone has that.

 I would say I am very lucky to see the pink in blank. The positive in negative. The happiness in loneliness, the music in silence and the purpose of an empty can. To see the treasure in pleasure.

I have written something that goes like this in my 21st. And thinking how it went, in a year, there were a lot of changes and realizations. Whether it be about love, life, preferences, dreams, goals, achievements, focus and intentions. And then I realized that with everything I've said and everything that I'm doing leads me to wanting to achieve this; to be genuinely happy and financially and emotionally free. That is the dream of everybody isn't it? Whatever we are doing we are doing for the sake of being happy and contented and being able to tell ourselves, "I am doing what I love and what I want."

Drop by my instagram @chasingmeagan and facebook page @meagamangoma and greet me a Happy Birthday on my 22nd this September 29, 2018. See you all there! This serves as your invitation. Welcome to my world and be my guest!

P.S. You can freely comment what you think of this piece I made.

Love, 

Meagan

NEW YEAR, NAAA, SHOULD BE NEW YOU...

New Year. New Life. New Chapter. New beginning. New discipline. New discovery. New YOU.

Attitude in life is carried through future. There's constant change but there's constant adaptation, wherever you are and whoever you are with. 

Mind your decisions, mind your mind. It should probably be leading you to your dictatorial way of thinking. It directs you to where you should be. And by that, I mean, that is good, you’re the captain of your life!

A lot of new things come into people's minds, but the real score? Only date changes, even people do not change in terms of when this occasion will enter. It all existed in our minds and we can’t control it ‘cause this is a tradition. This is our world and we have to make it worth living into and for. We have to make things happen because the people around us are living with it. It’s a bandwagon!

Here it goes... Kissing and thanking parents, cooking all good dishes, displaying good luck sources, inviting people to come around, partying with family, at 12 am of January of every New Year are not even required but simply, a tradition. It should have a good shot.

Look at what is happening before this is celebrated. The normal routine. And there’s no way that when the first call arrives from January one, it’s 60% possible that we will answer it, but may not listen to it totally, like, 10% or less, non-sense.

I observed that as the day goes by, and this year ends, it will be the same cycle, the money, mood, feelings, people, acquaintances, dreams and real life goals. It's just that we think straight forward as if we can be NEW US within a day. The last day of the year's last month has nothing to do with change, change begins when we're absolutely ready for it.

The catch is the progress. I go for progress, we don’t actually change but we strive, hard, to make things happen. To develop skills and talents in us. We try to indulge ourselves to an activity we’ve never been before, think of new things to be learned and ask how you are going to enjoy it, how are we going to make it work?

Well, simple, put your heart on it, set your mood, and choose the people who you want to face in that moment. The passion to do new and amazing things are driven by our mentality that it improves us, it empowers us, it gives us new beginning. That this life introduces us every time to doors that are newly opened like a brand new house, car, and a lot!

And I love being introduced to anything, I like new, I like the future, I like to meet people and get acquainted with the old ones. Best things in life are free, we should all be dreaming on. Continue the goal we thought we’ve been missing.

I have never thought of leaving at least a piece of my dream there, hosting, talking in front of the camera, acting, writing, and singing. No, not yet, now I have to begin moving, competitors are everywhere, in fact, they are always there, the target goal could be affected, guard your ways, guard your plans and strategies, before we all end up in the moment where we’re stuck and can’t breathe.

And when it's a new year, there should be maturity. Not a change entirely.

When it’s love, it’s might. You're cooking and thinking of the next celebrations with someone, taking them to your house and have a family meet-up. Weew. Just because, Wayne Dyer said, "the real magic in relationships means absence of judgment of others." Therefore, you won't be bothered what to wear and how to move, like piece of Santa's daughter.

And there I thought of my cousin Ann. She’s like me and I’m like her. We’re alike and we do love partying alone, when we smoke what we smoke, we talk about what we want to talk about, love, confusion, people, men, life. Well I’ll go with men and life. They’re good partners, like lasagna supreme and iced tea. We lead the group to partying and laughing, we both entertain like heaven. But there are also differences, I don’t cook and she does, I’m not a family girl, she is. I’m a career woman and she’s a good supporter, I’m active she’s passive. LOL. We’re good partners, in crime and laughter. The attitude is complicated though, bitch in short.

This New Year, no plans of change. Just me. My annoying eyebrows and petite body. Pretty face, yea, they say. The fireworks boom here and there, I talked to a girl named Paris and she’s a speaker of the English Language. At six, I have to say she’s a bitch, but I got to be friends with her, Meagan and Ann are now part of her list before 2016.

We were trying to look for shot buddies, two cool guys came over and ate, no alcohol right now, this is a good mood year I think. The moon and star beside it smiles back at me, and they’re talking to me while we’re looking for my sister in the boulevard, it says, “your life will be at its brightest.”

Underneath my castle where I rest, I’m still wondering what it would be like when I finish my thesis, graduate, apply into jobs online and walk in to call centers in Makati or Quezon City, enter into a corporate industry, start business, grow a company, continue working with my art, in lyric writing and organizing parties, music. I want to live my life like fairy tale as much as I want to live my life like a party with the loudest music that can be played.

How I look forward into the future, the progress, the independent life. I want to travel the world, put up a house in it, marry at 27 and have four kids, two boys and gals. It’s different, I’m dreaming and daydreaming a very beautiful life ahead.

But I’m thinking too much of myself, what have I done that I want to make all these things fast, sustain the idea that I just have to help out my family and be good to all the people around me. They love me or hate me, and that’s a part of a growing mind, I keep up with the trend, that progress is the catch, courage and heart are the driving tools and the move to all the dreams is 95%, don’t be stuck, don’t get laid, try to be a bad person sometimes, choose when to make your ego big and small. Face the truth, the reality, why? I’m an optimist and realist, I will face ‘what is’ and work with the ‘what if’s’.

Now I’m playing my covers and songs on the radio, I admire what I do, I hope the others will. Because it’s heaven when you get to hook the people with your music and style. When you don't have to explain something because your built identity says it all, you’re yourself, you’re a real star girl, you’re different, from all the Hollywood stars and indie stars, give a worthy view to yourself, a reflection that will last until you reach the peak of your life.

I’m young, and by heart, I’m mature and old.

Happy New You!

TO THE MAN I LOVED

Once, in the kingdom of my prince, he spoiled me with everything he had. But I don't need much, just a long drive in a long road from a long weekend-off.

So here, I am going back to the past. Because it was still wonderful after all...

***

I throw my hands on air and I kiss the light of the sun, my clothes drenched with sweat, behind the window of the car, I enjoy the heat of summer, bodies and heads heat up, and it's a good time to make time. You know what I mean.

I could spend my life forever in his throne. He's not Romeo and I'm not Juliet. I'm not a descendant of the Capulets either. So there’s a big possibility that we could be together, forever.

These lines might be quite mainstream, but you'll definitely love hearing it from your man. Love someone and you'll feel rich and enriched. Spirit fed with love and life filled with hope. Isn't it amazing I am discovering and revealing these things at the same time? Because of love?

As I learned from a movie recently, that in love, you’ll always win, because it will always leave a piece of you knowing what you need to know about loving and giving. Teaching you how to be stronger and better for your love.

Just because, having a relationship that works out is all that matters. You see the sun, you see the light, you feel not blue, but feel red, feel the passion and reside in what you're feeling. And what is absolutely good with that is it does not only uplift one's spirit and confidence, you'll also feel secured and fastened in your love's arms.

Every word he says is sexy, his smile is playful but I can still read what type of smile it is. Yes, definitely, you can be a psychologist and a very good researcher when you're in a mature love affair. Your psyche works  well with your eccentricity and ego. It develops your mundane mutations and it's wonderful.

In the car, as the driver drove us home, he held my hands and I held his, tight that I don't even want to let go. His right hand on my shoulders and I see the world and earth and everything beneath it outside the window. What I mean is you'd see the deepest worth of everything if you're with the person who makes you feel fearless!

This feeling, I should say, is irresistible, unexplainable. Though I have some issues with his temper, I stick with it, stay high and stuck in his side. And our line goes, "no matter what."

I might work away from him, I have to, and he's there. He supports me. He protects me and reminds me of what I should remember, what to say and not to say. And I know this memory of mine's sometimes forgetful yet mindful of her actions. I got to love it!

His being paranoid bothers me too much but as long as I assure him that all's well, then all'll be well. Assurance of love for each other is a strong armor, better not skip it, keep it, never delete from your vocabulary as a couple or partners.

So here, we got off the passenger seat, it's full and he didn't like it, he freaked out, then we landed in an air-conditioned one, we were laughing 'cause he acted insane and it was not really that serious. 

He jokes around and makes me laugh, now he can make me do anything for him already. Like he could be my boss. And I am his as well. How's that going?

It was perfect. We don't insist on things that we want, we insist in things that we need to agree upon.

Assure, agree, approach, talk, and love. Kiss every weather that comes along, whether it be rain or summer as long as the love is in the air, you'll live with it, like a burning coal.

So... Never mind our bus trip you guys, actually, it was just a set example that wherever you would go with someone special in your life, you'll always be reminded of life's glory and beauty. And there never will be a time in your life that you'll waste and have desires unfulfilled, because you have it all and you're keeping an eye on it.

When you're in a mature love, when you feel confident and fearless and secured. It means seeing your best with that person. That you can be you when you’re with him only.

Right.

***Present time***

I’ll just leave these here and start o live again. I am genuinely happy.