Just Before I turn 22

YOU ARE INVITED!

Just Before I turn 22

Just before I turn 22. Just before you get older that you think highly of your priorities and where you want to go and what you want to do in your entire life. The passion which you think keeps you alive. Just before I turn 22 that I think highly of where I should focus and where I should start.

I have a bucket list: Just as any young person would.

I want to go to a bar alone, chill out without the intention of meeting someone. I always tell my friends I am not into dating at this time. That’s after two consecutive heartbreaks. I see this bar in front of my room’s balcony and I see the people spending their night with some bottles of beer and tacos and enchiladas. And it would be sad to be sitting there alone smoking and drinking. But I’ve learned how to manage being alone. There’s a difference between wanting to just be alone and being lonely.

I want to start cooking certain recipes fo breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And then level up to baking and making indulging pastry products. It’s because of this Table For Two book by my all time favorite author, Nora Roberts.

I want to be going out of town someday with this in mind: “No one would hell care what my purpose is and no one knows who I am.” And seems like I’ve been doing that since I worked.

I want to finish my self-written top three songs and play them everytime I jam. I have them already!

I want to learn how to drive a car like no other girl does.

I want to be as sexy as I can be even after eating a bunch of cookies or a bowl of ice cream. Impossible.

I want to enroll in a spanish class because I just want to. Well I have y own app in my phone (wink). LOL.

I want to get my writings published and get paid by doing it. Actually, earning an audience is my goal at this time.

I want to put up a business with a person who really holds to a decision.

In a short time, I want to buy my own space and put up my own place.

One thing I can keep as a promise though, I won’t stop celebrating my life my wonderful parents gave me. That’s the most vivid picture in my mind right now. They've let me become independent. And now I’m making my own decisions.

Sometimes, being too artistic means wanting to know and try everything. As a writer with passion, a singer with character, and a learner by heart, I honestly do not know where I will be. I’ve finished a degree in communication arts. To me, entering the media world sucks. I don’t know anyone and I just have to click ever ‘apply’ button in a job finder website and no one responds to it. I want to know which this leads me to.

The line I won’t ever forget from an employer  from a broadcasting industry was, “you’re just nineteen, how can you cope wih the reporters and field works here.” Really, how can one get an experience if you don’t let them try?

Royale Club 2017

Royale Club 2018

And by the way, I began writing this in front of an infinite pool, mid year. I was also here last year, with nothing in mind but being in love. Can I ask some favor? Will you read this while imagining my voice saying it to you in a poetic manner? Thanks! If you haven’t heard me speak, you can privately message me on facebook @meaganmangoma.

I realized the heat now is more tolerable than the last time I came here. The shower was even hotter. But now, it's more tolerable. I even got to enjoy the heat. And accepted the fact that we're in Laguna, place for numerous hot spring venues with a nature view. And then I came to understand that growing older and growing up at the same time means being able to tolerate what appeared to be very tough and hard before. You learn to manage everything more at your own convenience. I’ve learned how to say no. I’ve learned how to talk back without sounding stubborn.

After the team building, as usual, I went back to work, I haven't had any gym sessions after that because it was so rainy and I had to think more of getting to the office without getting wet from the storm. But my body seriously yearns for pain, so on the seventh day, I did a 40-minute house workout instead. LOL.

At 21, I had to understand that not everything can be done at the same time. Considering the time to be spent, the money that could be wasted and that could be managed. I was thinking everytime I wake up, if what I am doing would really make up something for my future.

When I was in college, I used to dream a lot of what I am living to right now. I wished I was in a band. And I am in a band right now. Though I am not really full time into it. What I know is I want to get a little bit of everything I have been dreaming of. I wanted to learn how to drive a car, and I already got my own car under my name and I don’t even know how to drive yet! I wanted to buy anything I want and that's exactly what I am doing since I started working. From food to clothes to shoes. I pampered myself. I went to my hometown anytime I want and went home to a boyfriend who just cheated on me. I started investing on the seventh month of my work life. That’s getting a return at age thirty. An insurance. See, I am not a fan of fancy signature clothes and stuff, instead, overtime, I learned that choosing items with best quality is what should matter most. And buying one of those branded things won’t hurt for quality’s sake. And I don’t have any intention of showing off what I’ve got, in social media at least. I want to travel outside the country, and after seven months of getting my passport, I have had a scheduled flight to Thailand already for first month of 2019.

And to me, now, quality is in everything, from every person I meet and I already met and knew to clothes to shoes and bags to TIME. The most important thing, the quality of time spent. Again, as they say, it's not the number of years that you've lived that counts, it's how you lived in those existing years you've had. Living is life. And having a life doesn't always mean you've been living. Really. I’d like to think I’m promiscuous. But not the type that’s engaged in a lot of relationships but dreams and adventures. I’d say I’m an adventurous more than promiscuous.

I dreamed of having a book published, at least a compilation of my writings from blogspot.com, I realized I have to search for a very good publisher and have an access to lots of contacts first. Fulfilling our dream will actually cost us a lot. But being happy is everything we are willing to pay for. Tell me, why are all those guys going to bar, travelling, studying hard? It's for happiness. Tell me why do we invest in loving someone even if we're not sure of them? Being happy, I guess, sometimes demands for sacrifice and your time. A lot of time. And still leaves you with pain once you fail. And if failure is a choice, I will never buy that. Instead, I’d like to think everyone who are at my age to turn something bad into something good, a disadvantage to advantage, a misfortune to fortune, a negative to positive, a hatred to love. Reverse the psychology.

And I am thinking maybe that is just one ticket for us to experience a love that's sure and secure. A life that’s full of definition, challenge, and experience. A love that's found its happiness, home, and meaning. A love that does not yearn for other's love but only our love and time. So what are we really talking about when we're talking about love? Happiness, maybe.

It's every little thing that could come in between things you don't even know exist. The intensity in the emotion you have toward that person, the sacrifice you would give for that person, a dream you might give up for that person. But don't ever give your personality up for that person. Because in the first place, you should be accepted no matter who and what you are.

I also wished I had a degree in Psychology, but we don't have to have one to identify and evaluate who we should be and what we should be saying towards others, instead, I had a degree in English Studies major in Communication Arts, as I believed communication is always the key to transposing proper understanding between you and yourself, you and other people, you and the social media world, you and your fantasies, you and your dreams. You and your family. Communication will always be there. And I have to be present in every area I will ever experience, the presence of knowledge of knowing how to communicate with all the types of people there is in this world and understanding what they are, what they were, and who they really are is all that it takes, I suppose.

But I have my ultimate dreams after all. To host a travel show or to sing in front of millions of people. Question is, with everything that I'm doing, do they really help on making me achieve these ultimate dreams? 

I love singing and writing and I want to be famous. Inside me this is what I am saying. Because having a mind that's so hungry for creativity and artistry and beauty around her is sometimes cluttered for there's a lot of things that it wants. Aside from money, it wants every beautiful thing and the hardest part is everything is beautiful because being artistic is being positive with everything that you see, seeing the light in every dark place, seeing the smile in every sad face. Seeing the energy in every tired soul. That’s why I want to see the world, because I know my difference with all those other travellers. It is seeing everything that cannot be seen by the naked eye but the open mind and soul. I’m blessed I have that gift. Not eveyone has that.

 I would say I am very lucky to see the pink in blank. The positive in negative. The happiness in loneliness, the music in silence and the purpose of an empty can. To see the treasure in pleasure.

I have written something that goes like this in my 21st. And thinking how it went, in a year, there were a lot of changes and realizations. Whether it be about love, life, preferences, dreams, goals, achievements, focus and intentions. And then I realized that with everything I've said and everything that I'm doing leads me to wanting to achieve this; to be genuinely happy and financially and emotionally free. That is the dream of everybody isn't it? Whatever we are doing we are doing for the sake of being happy and contented and being able to tell ourselves, "I am doing what I love and what I want."

Drop by my instagram @chasingmeagan and facebook page @meagamangoma and greet me a Happy Birthday on my 22nd this September 29, 2018. See you all there! This serves as your invitation. Welcome to my world and be my guest!

P.S. You can freely comment what you think of this piece I made.

Love, 

Meagan

NEW YEAR, NAAA, SHOULD BE NEW YOU...

New Year. New Life. New Chapter. New beginning. New discipline. New discovery. New YOU.

Attitude in life is carried through future. There's constant change but there's constant adaptation, wherever you are and whoever you are with. 

Mind your decisions, mind your mind. It should probably be leading you to your dictatorial way of thinking. It directs you to where you should be. And by that, I mean, that is good, you’re the captain of your life!

A lot of new things come into people's minds, but the real score? Only date changes, even people do not change in terms of when this occasion will enter. It all existed in our minds and we can’t control it ‘cause this is a tradition. This is our world and we have to make it worth living into and for. We have to make things happen because the people around us are living with it. It’s a bandwagon!

Here it goes... Kissing and thanking parents, cooking all good dishes, displaying good luck sources, inviting people to come around, partying with family, at 12 am of January of every New Year are not even required but simply, a tradition. It should have a good shot.

Look at what is happening before this is celebrated. The normal routine. And there’s no way that when the first call arrives from January one, it’s 60% possible that we will answer it, but may not listen to it totally, like, 10% or less, non-sense.

I observed that as the day goes by, and this year ends, it will be the same cycle, the money, mood, feelings, people, acquaintances, dreams and real life goals. It's just that we think straight forward as if we can be NEW US within a day. The last day of the year's last month has nothing to do with change, change begins when we're absolutely ready for it.

The catch is the progress. I go for progress, we don’t actually change but we strive, hard, to make things happen. To develop skills and talents in us. We try to indulge ourselves to an activity we’ve never been before, think of new things to be learned and ask how you are going to enjoy it, how are we going to make it work?

Well, simple, put your heart on it, set your mood, and choose the people who you want to face in that moment. The passion to do new and amazing things are driven by our mentality that it improves us, it empowers us, it gives us new beginning. That this life introduces us every time to doors that are newly opened like a brand new house, car, and a lot!

And I love being introduced to anything, I like new, I like the future, I like to meet people and get acquainted with the old ones. Best things in life are free, we should all be dreaming on. Continue the goal we thought we’ve been missing.

I have never thought of leaving at least a piece of my dream there, hosting, talking in front of the camera, acting, writing, and singing. No, not yet, now I have to begin moving, competitors are everywhere, in fact, they are always there, the target goal could be affected, guard your ways, guard your plans and strategies, before we all end up in the moment where we’re stuck and can’t breathe.

And when it's a new year, there should be maturity. Not a change entirely.

When it’s love, it’s might. You're cooking and thinking of the next celebrations with someone, taking them to your house and have a family meet-up. Weew. Just because, Wayne Dyer said, "the real magic in relationships means absence of judgment of others." Therefore, you won't be bothered what to wear and how to move, like piece of Santa's daughter.

And there I thought of my cousin Ann. She’s like me and I’m like her. We’re alike and we do love partying alone, when we smoke what we smoke, we talk about what we want to talk about, love, confusion, people, men, life. Well I’ll go with men and life. They’re good partners, like lasagna supreme and iced tea. We lead the group to partying and laughing, we both entertain like heaven. But there are also differences, I don’t cook and she does, I’m not a family girl, she is. I’m a career woman and she’s a good supporter, I’m active she’s passive. LOL. We’re good partners, in crime and laughter. The attitude is complicated though, bitch in short.

This New Year, no plans of change. Just me. My annoying eyebrows and petite body. Pretty face, yea, they say. The fireworks boom here and there, I talked to a girl named Paris and she’s a speaker of the English Language. At six, I have to say she’s a bitch, but I got to be friends with her, Meagan and Ann are now part of her list before 2016.

We were trying to look for shot buddies, two cool guys came over and ate, no alcohol right now, this is a good mood year I think. The moon and star beside it smiles back at me, and they’re talking to me while we’re looking for my sister in the boulevard, it says, “your life will be at its brightest.”

Underneath my castle where I rest, I’m still wondering what it would be like when I finish my thesis, graduate, apply into jobs online and walk in to call centers in Makati or Quezon City, enter into a corporate industry, start business, grow a company, continue working with my art, in lyric writing and organizing parties, music. I want to live my life like fairy tale as much as I want to live my life like a party with the loudest music that can be played.

How I look forward into the future, the progress, the independent life. I want to travel the world, put up a house in it, marry at 27 and have four kids, two boys and gals. It’s different, I’m dreaming and daydreaming a very beautiful life ahead.

But I’m thinking too much of myself, what have I done that I want to make all these things fast, sustain the idea that I just have to help out my family and be good to all the people around me. They love me or hate me, and that’s a part of a growing mind, I keep up with the trend, that progress is the catch, courage and heart are the driving tools and the move to all the dreams is 95%, don’t be stuck, don’t get laid, try to be a bad person sometimes, choose when to make your ego big and small. Face the truth, the reality, why? I’m an optimist and realist, I will face ‘what is’ and work with the ‘what if’s’.

Now I’m playing my covers and songs on the radio, I admire what I do, I hope the others will. Because it’s heaven when you get to hook the people with your music and style. When you don't have to explain something because your built identity says it all, you’re yourself, you’re a real star girl, you’re different, from all the Hollywood stars and indie stars, give a worthy view to yourself, a reflection that will last until you reach the peak of your life.

I’m young, and by heart, I’m mature and old.

Happy New You!